How the Harry Potter Reboot Can Bring the ‘Magic’ to a New Generation

I love Harry Potter. I’ve watched all the movies multiple times, I own a wand (and before you make fun of it, it’s Sirius Black’s, so yeahhhh it’s the most badass wand possible), and I even went to the studio tour in London and when I saw the model of Hogwarts with the beautiful score playing in the background…I may or may not have shed a tear.

So like any big HP fan, when I found out Max was making a reboot series, I immediately went to Bass Pro Shop, purchased a Browning Silver semi-automatic shotgun and began writing my manifesto. As I was waiting at Platform 9 3/4 about to board the Mangione Express to this ‘Max’ fella’s house and take a stand for nerdy millenials everywhere…I thought about how I would be depriving a whole new generation of kids the joy of watching a Harry Potter adaptation they can relate to. The reason why the series means so much to me is because my dad would read me the books, we would go to the theaters to see the movies on opening weekends, I would wait in line when the new book came out to get my hands on it and read as fast as my little 12 year-old brain could. These kids deserve fresh new Harry Potter media to make those memories with! So with that being said, here’s…

How the Harry Potter Reboot Can Bring the ‘Magic’ to a Whole New Generation

We can’t just have the new TV show rehash all the stuff we already saw in the movies. The television format will let them really expand the universe because there’s more runtime to work with. And if we’re going to do some real world-building, let’s make sure that world is something that people of the modern era can relate to.

Launch In-Universe Podcasts

Podcasters are the new rockstars. An easy way to make the show appeal to new younger audiences is to have characters living out their podcast dreams on the show. Here’s a few ideas:

• Pardon My Snake– Slytherin students invite a snake on their show to chat, in parseltongue of course, about everything from new potions they’re working on to the ethnic cleansing of mudbloods from the wizarding world!
• The Podlet of Fire – The bitchiest girls from Ravenclaw are opening up a whole ass chamber of secrets on this podcast when they discuss things like who’s hooking up in the Shrieking Shack and is that cat that’s always in the boys’ lavatories actually Professor McGonagall’s animal form??
• Snitch Please! – A quidditch podcast talking about all the important match-ups, with some laughs along the way! Even in this universe it is somehow hosted by Jason Kelce. 

Make Bolder Casting Choices

Everyone on the internet was getting pissed about a rumor that Snape might be played by Paapa Essiedu, a black actor. I personally don’t care that he’s black, I care that he’s a hot young piece of ass! I don’t care what his description is in the books, you should be able to look at Snape and immediately tell he’s an incel. At the core of his character, he was an all-time simp for Harry’s mom but he was so absolutely BEAT she couldn’t care less. So casting a certified adonis? Big mistake. Here are some other rules I would say for casting:

• Embrace Diversity – If you want all these actors to be white and British, you either have to be racist or hate fun. Think about the possibilities of casting if we think outside the ethnic box! Make Dumbledore Jewish and have him played by Larry David! Make Victor Krum Irish and have Conor Mcgregor play him! What the hell, Cho Chang could be played by the Hawk Tuah girl! The possibilities are endless!
• The Older the Better – After decades of seeing kids in showbiz turn out to have a ton of mental problems, subjecting a new batch of children to the criticism of possibly billions of people in a beloved franchise is very unethical. So let’s not cast children, let’s just get adults and de-age them using modern technology! Harry Potter could be Ryan Gosling! Hermione could be Meryl Streep! Ron Weasley could be the guy who played Ron Weasley in the original movies! (He probably needs that work). Not only would we have experienced actors in the main roles besides some dumb kids, but also, no dumb kids will have to suffer the mental anguish of becoming one of the most famous people in the world like 3 years after learning how to spell the word “famous”.
• More Freaks – Who are the most memorable characters from the original franchise? The little freakazoids. Voldemort didn’t have a nose. Hagrid was 9 feet tall. George and Fred were twins AND gingers, disgusting! More characters that would (and maybe even should) be outcast from society should be included for our viewing pleasure.

Expand Wizarding Sports

You’re telling me Quidditch is the only sport Hogwarts has a team for? The only logical reason all the students aren’t pre-diabetic is because they must play other sports… or they’re using Wizard Ozempic (which actually would be a great name for a Dark Wizard right? Ozempic LeStrange just escaped Azkaban, that’s a freebie HBO!), because otherwise how would they get exercise? They take their brooms over long distances, and some of them even just full on teleport. So they gotta have a Hogwarts track team or something. Here’s my ideas of sports to introduce to Hogwarts.

• Football (the one that uses your feet) is an obvious choice, nothing gets UK schoolboys riled up like some footie. Each House gets tricked out kits that go for hundreds in the merch booths. The Hogwarts Hooligans are sneaking butterbeer before the games and getting kicked out for yelling slurs at the dorks on Hufflepuff. Would really add to the culture of the school.
• Lacrosse would be a natural transition from Quidditch too, it’s basically the same game on the ground. You know Malfoy would be carrying around his Nimbus 2000 lax stick on campus too talking about his dad got a promotion from Voldemort so he can afford it.
• My personal favorite, I think they should have them hoop. I wanna see Hagrid absolutely dunk on Dobby’s ass, then jersey swap at the end of the game which in turn, frees him from slavery.

Secure Valuable Brand Deals

Generation Z has grown up in the advertising age, and if you want this new Harry Potter show to make sense when it comes out in 2026, you should have some brand deals in place to 1.) naturally bring the show into the standards of modern day media 2.) make a ton more money even if it totally de-values the quality of the show. As a marketing professional myself, here are some ideas on naturally bringing brands into Hogwarts.

• First of all this is a no brainer, every kid in the Gryffindor Common Room should be playing Quidditch 2K25 from EA Sports and screaming at eachother while doing so. If you think kids with magic wands aren’t going to be interested in a “silly video game” you’re wrong. You get hundreds of teen boys together in a dorm room sooner or later they’re gonna be using those wands to conjure up a PS5.
• Voldemort and Harry Potter have some sort of psychic connection they share from the trauma of Voldemort’s attempted murder on Harry as a child. In Order of the Phoenix specifically, Voldemort tries to penetrate Harry’s mind in order to weaken him. Instead of going to Snape and finding out how to defend himself using magical techniques, Harry can log on to his BetterHelp account and talk to a licensed mental health counselor online about not letting intrusive thoughts like Voldemort derail his life! No magic required!
• Quidditch is fun, but most of the time the game is won by whoever gets the Golden Snitch and it makes all the other aspects of the game kind of pointless…unless you use DraftKings Quidditch™️! Bet on all aspects of a Quidditch match, and build parlays for even bigger payout. Put 5 galleons on Malfoy to knock Harry off his broom, or 20 galleons on bludgers to hit Krum! Don’t let the golden snitch ruin the fun, use Draftkings today!
• Subtlety is key in integrated marketing. It has to feel natural in the world. So when our three main characters Harry, Ron, and Hermoine visit Hagrid for the first time, we’ll have him give them a tour of his hut. And for a few seconds you’ll see his bathroom, and what’s on the counter? The Manscaped Lawnmower 6.0! Now we’re not going to show anything for obvious reasons, but it’s safe to imply that if the carpet matches the drapes on Hagrid, that grooming product must be the real deal!

Lastly, I think an easy win would be to update the made-up magical words to include the lingo of the new generation. They’re not real anyways so who cares! Toss in words that the zoomers will love! Call it the Chamber of Skibidi! Change the name from Horcruxes to just “Auras”. Screw it, rename the whole damn school. It’s not Hogwarts anymore, it’s OhioWarts. I don’t even know what Ohio is in the context of Gen Z or why it’s funny but dammit just add it to the script and we got a hit on our hands I’m sure of it.

If we’re being honest, I doubt that I will be able to watch this show without being filled with rage that it isn’t the same thing as the movies I watched and loved as a kid. Normally I’d say be careful with the beloved franchise, but since rebooting it is already taking a big risk with fans, I say risk it all and include everything I mentioned here. And at the very least, if you like some of the ideas here, send your boy an owl! We all know the point of this show isn’t love of the game it’s milking that sweet sweet IP for more cash and buddy, I want in! Let’s conjure up some money from these muggles baby!