Posted by Adam Sandler inked a deal with Netflix a few years back to make 4 exclusive movies for the streaming site. All he had to do was make 4 movies and he’d get 40 MILLION DOLLARS. This blew my mind at the time. I’m an Adam Sandler STAN (or a STANdler, if you will), but to think he was worth $40 mil for 4 movies was pretty crazy…and I was both right and wrong, because although the movies he made were terrible, I guess millions of people still watch them (including myself).
The movies he made for Netflix are some of the worst movies I have ever seen in my entire life (and I’ve seen both the Sandlot 2 and Shrek 4ever After). When it kicked off with this garbage I knew we were screwed.
I honestly can’t describe how bad of a movie this is. It’s not even so-bad-it’s-funny because it’s just boring and long and kinda really offensive? Like yeah, Adam Sandler playing a part Native American man and Taylor Lautner playing someone with a mental disability probably could’ve flown during Sandler’s prime in like ’98 but in 2015? Probably contributed to this rotten tomatoes score this is honestly hard to achieve.
Then we had the next movie of the deal.
This one was probably the best out of all of them. Spade and Sandler had good chemistry obviously, the plot was kinda interesting, and Sandler got kinda weirdly jacked for it?
I mean, the guy’s in his late forties in this movie and lookin pretty ripped.
BUT then we get to the end of this movie and it all leads to the fact that some dude has the cure for cancer, but doesn’t want to release it because he makes chemotherapy treatments and wants the money for his business…again I don’t even know how but it just feels kinda offensive? Like while I was watching it I was like, ok no offense Adam but people ACTUALLY HAVE CANCER. Other movies (that are serious, and not comedies even) stay away from real diseases because they don’t wanna hit too close to home for people. That’s why they’re always trying to like “blow up the moon” and stuff.
Movie number 3 is genuinely, my least favorite thing Adam Sandler has ever done. Sandy Wexler.
I really thought this was gonna be the one. Sandler plays a character who is a talent agent in like the 80’s. It was a character movie, he was the focal point, seemed like you could have a lot of gags aaaaaaaand then it just got super uncomfortable.
This is how Sandler dresses in the movie.
If you see this guy on the street and have to guess his age what would you say? Big pedophile glasses, hairline is back a bit, got some worry lines. Probably like 45 or so right? Well guess who his love interest is…JENNIFER HUDSON. WHO LOOKS LIKE THIS.
She looks 30 TOPS in this AND she’s also his client. This movie is like 2hr and 15 minutes and the whole time you’re like “please for the love of god don’t let this get romantic” and next thing you know the Sand Man is making out with her. It’s just so so so bad. It took me 3 days to watch this because I kept getting either bored or disgusted and had to walk away.
This is when I was 99% sure we weren’t getting anything good out of Sandler’s Netflix run…and then he released 100% Fresh.
I’ll be honest I was skeptical of this trailer. Didn’t show much and kinda did what we’d expect Sandler to be doing for a comedy special, but after watching the special, I realized that’s the best part about this, it’s exactly what you’d expect from Sandler.
It starts off with a joke about what to do when you hit a driver-less car and Sandler MURDERS IT. I was actually so surprised. I knew he started doing stand-up and stuff but he’s doing this bit like he’s been on a stage every night for the past 30 years. Dude knows that he’s just naturally funny and is laughing at himself and making hysterical little points about situations. And then we get into some songs.
There are multiple songs in this special. Some are very short little keyboard jams that end on a silly punch line and others are long guitar riffs. And I need to tell you two things. 1.) Adam Sandler has PIPES and 2) Adam Sandler SHREDS GUITAR.
I found out, like most people, Sandler could actually sing after this video of him on Fallon.
I mean, an angelic harmony from our guy. And in such a sweet way. But he sings a few times in this special, when he’s not SPITTING BARS.
My mans actually got some FLOW! This is all spiced in to other standup bits that are surprisingly relatable.
That’s what I love about Sandler too. He makes his Netflix movies in like a month and then just chills and does normal dad stuff for the rest of the year. He talks about going to his kid’s school play, he talks about taking Ubers around, he talks about going to Disney world and waiting in long lines, he’s just your average guy. If there’s one thing I know for sure after watching this it’s that if I could get a beer with any living person, it’d probably be Adam Sandler.
I’d also like to mention…Adam Sandler is having boat loads of sex. This guy talks about banging his wife like 45 times in this hour and 15 minute special. He’ll be doing a bit about something completely off topic and then just be like “oh yeah I was doing my wife doggy-style” like it’s nothing. He also says he’s never cheated on his wife and sings a song about growing old with her and it is literally the most genuine sweet thing ever. I’m sure every celebrity is saying they’ve never cheated on their wife and obviously a rich comedy legend like himself could if he wanted to, but something about the way the dude acts you can tell he’s got no desire to. He also talks a lot about his kids and friends.
At this point I’m pretty sure Rob Schneider is contractually obligated to appear in any Adam Sandler production because he does a song with Sandler about 69-ing in outerspace.
Yup. That’s real.
But he also sings a song he wrote for his friend, the late Chris Farley, and it is beautiful. I can’t find it on youtube but please watch this special and skip towards the end if anything just to see this. It’s such a sweet song and so well written and beautiful and does a great job of honoring one of the funniest dudes to live who left too soon.
He keeps the emotional tone going as he ends the special by singing “I Want To Grow Old With You” from the Wedding Singer but changes a few things around. He talks about his wife, his kids, and then to the fans. I’ll be honest I was getting embarrassingly emotional at this song because Adam literally shows pictures of himself as a kid and then growing up and showing all of his movies and says “thanks for growing old with me”. Weirdly this sort of felt like him saying to the audience “look, I know I haven’t made the best movies the past few years, but thanks for still being a fan”. And that’s why I stan this man.
Adam gets a lot of hate from people who judge him from his really bad apples. You can hate him for his cheap “fart jokes” and stuff but it makes him laugh and it makes a lot of other people laugh. This dude is making money from these movies, being a good father and husband, is loyal to all of his friends, has made at least 2 of the best comedy movies of the past 30 years, and is a completely genuinely nice guy. This is the Adam Sandler everyone fell in love with while he was on SNL, and it turns out he never left, we just weren’t seeing him. But it’s certainly good to have him back.
Hopefully this will lead to some better movies, but even if it doesn’t, I’m still here for my boy. And even if Jack and Jill 2 comes out, I’ll have this special to make me remember who the real Sandler is.
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