Hey Celebrities, Stop Calling What You Do “Work”

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The audacity of Lorde. This girl is a 43 year-old 21 year-old making millions of dollars to prance around on a razor scooter and have her fans obsess over her and she thinks it’s cute to call it “work”??? I don’t think so. You know what’s work, Lorde?

-Sitting in a cubicle

-Trying to keep up the illusion you are proficient in Excel

-Making small talk with co-workers while eating lunch

-Convincing yourself that you won’t be this miserable and unfulfilled until retirement

THAT is work.

Lorde wasn’t forced into the music industry. No musician graduates college and is like “ahh damn this isn’t really what I want to do but I guess I’ll settle for it” NO WAY. I’m a marketing major because I wanted to write and direct funny commercials for companies, but look at me now, I’m so desperate for employment I’m applying to sales jobs…SALES. Just the job title “Sales Associate” comes with clinical depression. I don’t like talking to people in general but now you want me to do it for a living? And since it’s commission based my life depends on it? I would rather bartend at my local Chili’s than stand in a Home Depot and try to sell power tools to shoppers all day I’m sorry.

We hear from celebrities in the public eye that it’s so tough being followed by paparazzi, scrutinized for their performances, and always having to keep up a certain personality…I’ll let people judge and stalk me as much as they want if they’re doing it while I’m sipping a mudslide in my hot-tub whilst Selena Gomez, Gigi Hadid, Khaleesi from Game of Thrones, and Emma Watson play chicken in the pool next to it. Everybody’s having a good ol’ laugh at cute quirky Lorde for calling it work but I’m calling her out for the sociopath she is having zero empathy for the normies of the world.

If you aren’t getting an email from Bank Of America every other week with the subject “Warning: Account Balance Below $25”, you aren’t allowed to call anything you do “work”.

P.S. Someone hire me. I take back all that I said about Sales jobs I just need money.

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