We can all agree the internet is generally more bad than it is good. It gave children a platform to bully each other without having to do it face-to-face, a bunch of racist people can post horrible things anonymously, and worst of all: it gave people like Logan Paul a platform where they could post videos of them wearing the outfit of a 3rd grader next to a hanging dead body and make millions off of it.
But in this deep dark abyss of toxicity and annoying personalities being rewarded with both attention and money, we have a glimmer of hope. One sole paramedic has come with the defibrillator needed to keep the internet from entering a definite hell…and that paramedic’s name is Adam Levine.
That’s right folks, Maroon 5 has heard the plea of the internet and seems to be delivering on one of the best ideas to come out of it since Billy Gates fired up the first computer: Have “Sweet Victory” from Spongebob Performed At The Superbowl Halftime Show.
As a lot of people know, Stephen Hillenburg (the creator of Spongebob) passed away back in November from ALS. This man was an American Treasure and made some of the most pure funniest goofiest content that shaped millions of childhoods, including mine. I’m sure a solid part of the reason I get on this site and write about having Ruth Bader Ginsburg fight the Pope is because I spent hours and hours worshipping a Sponge as a kid. This is why I got so pumped when this link was shared on Twitter a few months back.
A petition to have a song from Spongebob performed at the Super Bowl as tribute…
SIGN ME THE HELL UP.
Sweet Victory is an absolute BANGER and hilariously was made specifically for Spongebob in hands down the funniest episode of the series.
This is the ballad that will have the electricity Jon Bon Jovi woulda got commanding the stage in the 80s singing Livin’ On a Prayer. It’s the perfect stadium song. Because it was on Spongebob it was taken as a joke though, and I didn’t think Maroon 5 of all people would even consider performing it. I’d seen petitions like this before. Including,
and of course,
so yeah, I assumed it was just for giggles…until I saw this.
That’s the official stadium of this year’s Super Bowl’s twitter account tweeting out a gif FROM THE BUBBLE BOWL EPISODE. This got me excited. I know a lot of people are saying “oh brands tweet stuff out like this all the time, they say stuff like ‘hashtag cant wait for the Superbowl!'” and I agree, brands do say that but this one doesn’t say anything. It’s just the gif. There’s a sense of mystery. It’s a tease.
So time has passed, the petition to perform the song has over a million signatures, and people are curious. Maroon 5 adds Travis Scott and Big Boi to the show, which isn’t promising. I just can’t see Travis ad-libbing “it’s lit!” and “straight up!” behind lyrics written for a cartoon Sponge to sing. I was doubting myself… but then, we got what in my mind was a confirmation that it’s actually happening.
Live Nation’s Super Bowl Halftime teaser includes a very quick clip from Spongebob OUT OF NO WHERE and Maroon 5 retweeted this. It has to happen. They’ve teased too much now if they don’t do it the internet will revolt. Have you seen how mad people got about the new Kim Possible movie looking bad? Imagine the outrage when half the people watching Maroon 5 solely to see Sweet Victory are left defeated. No one wins that Super Bowl. No one.
I truly believe this is gonna happen. Mostly because Adam Levine is a grade A sell-out. He does what gets more buzz and money, and nothing will do that like playing this song. He made beautiful songs like “She Will Be Loved” and “Sunday Morning” and then started making songs that include Wiz Khalifa verses just in order to toss a few extra checks on top of the one he gets for sitting in a swirly chair and judging people.
So yeah, if he can use his god-given talented pipes to sing a ballad in tribute to a legend instead of crooning about having moves like “Jagger” (a 75 year old man), I’m here for it.
I’ll leave you with this, Bovada (the gambling site) has a Super Bowl prop bet about having “yes” to Maroon 5 playing Sweet Victory at -225…this means it’s pretty likely, and if you feel like paying off the copious amounts of beer and wings you’re going to consume on Sunday, you may wanna toss a coupla twenties on it. You’re welcome. Go Pats.